Vegas - Treasure Island

There is a 40 year old lady on the table dressed at a 20 year old. Her breasts are fighting to join the chips on the table. Oh boy. Proper “Old Gold”

She loves my accent. As far as she is concerned I sound like Roger Moore circa Octopussy.

The tournament is bizarre. I lose 70% of my stack with AA early on and then with 1600 remaining, there are limpers for 100 and I make is 600 planning to shove any flop with K7. BB calls as does one other.

Flop is Kxx, and I shove.

BB snaps me off with JJ, before berating me big time. Might have been better to shove pre-flop mate? He bust shortly after.

There is also a Patrick Rafter look-a-like at the table except he ALWAYS looks miserable even after winning a pot. Ever time I look at him I envisage a caption saying “double break point Sampras” underneath.

Anyhow - I get to final table and with 8 left find KK in mid position - there is a limp for 400 and I make it 1400 and Old Gold puts in 2000. Dealer tells her she must now minimum raise.

Old Gold “Oh - I don’t want to do that” (tits bulging away).

Dealer tells her she must. 2800 it is.

I say to her “Ok - I have a really big hand if you made a mistake - I’m all in for 5000” (I’m happy for her to pass if she has Arag or some such)

She says “It’s okay sweet - I call”.

She has AA.

ANGLE SHOOTING BI-ATCH!!!

She wins and tells me “I guess I knew what I was doing”

Old Gold not to be trusted from this experience. This sort of rubbish never happened to Roger Moore.